Flying long haul need not be a vomit-inducing trauma—if you know the right methods to survive it, that is. Follow these tips and you just might make the landing unscathed.

If you remain unconvinced by our list of wonderful things to do this summer in Malaysia or just plain can’t get out of going home to visit relatives, chances are you’ll be flying long haul soon. Former international flight attendant and author of airline humour books Yvonne Lee is here to get you through the trials and tribulations at thirty thousand feet.

After months of scouting around for the best air travel package, followed by weeks of planning and packing for your holiday, the day you fly off to that dream destination finally arrives. You are at the departure lounge and your flight number has been called. Brimming with excitement, you schlep your cabin bag impatiently towards the plane entrance.

At the embarkation, you get the glimpse of the strangers who would be your neighbours in this airborne village for the next thirteen hours. There is a couple bickering about their Louis Vuitton shopping bag. A toddler is hollering at the top of her lungs. Her wailing pierces through the cabin like a siren. An obese teenager right in front of you conveniently lets out flatulence that sounds like a surprise tuba part of an orchestra. You cringe. Suddenly, someone behind you shoves your back with a hand luggage. You turn and he snaps sorry mate! You look straight ahead again. That’s when the reality of the next thirteen hours hits your already throbbing head.

Welcome to commercial air travel, and long distance to boot! To arrive at your dream destination, you must endure the ordeal of being confined to a tiny seat among hundreds of other sardine-packed travellers for the long haul. A full cabin load, noise disturbances if it’s a day flight and during the school holidays, crying babies, whiny toddlers, boisterous teenagers, over fraught cabin attendants, mediocre plane meals, long toilet queues and more are the price to pay for. Can you survive it all?

QUIET, PLEASE

If you are travelling alone and looking forward to use the long hours on flight for some quiet time reading or resting, the last thing you need is to be seated next to seatmate who can out-talk the magpies. How do you stop her idle chatter and to prevent your ears from falling off? Solution: Clear your throat and say you are having a bad throat, then pull out a book and bury your nose in it. Failing which, you can announce to your seatmate, “Excuse me, did you know that your breath stinks?”

Seriously, if you are absolutely certain you can’t tolerate the noise of a full plane atmosphere and yet don’t want to spend much money on a First Class seat, bring along high quality headphones that can block out noise, plug in an iPod loaded with all your favourite hits and then you can be in the cocoon of your own world.

TRAVELLING WITH KIDS

If you are travelling with young children, prior planning is absolutely necessary. Always choose a flight with night departure because a sleeping child is definitely a joy to fly with.

However, if that’s not possible, arm yourself with plenty of your kids’ favourite toys. Exceptions are the water gun, battery-loaded toy car with siren-like wail or the remote-controlled Pico-Z. An iPad is highly recommendable. A bag of their favourite snacks works well too.

SEAT PLAN

When buying a property, it’s ‘location, location, location’. To survive on a long haul flight, it’s pretty much the same. Your seat position in the plane will make or break your journey. Especially if you have daddy-long-legs, always book a seat at the first row near the exit for extra legroom.

Next, decide on a window seat or aisle seat. That depends on whether you are in the ‘bull’ or ‘bear’ mode whenever on a plane. If you are the kind of passenger with frequent loo visits, you definitely need the aisle seat. This will cut down the animosity between you and your seatmate. Also, if you suffer from the restless legs syndrome, an aisle seat is the only choice unless you enjoy climbing over the laps of strangers.

However, if you are dead sure you can pee up a litre prior to your flight and then conk off for dreamland till arrival time, by all means book a window seat so that no one needs to crawl over you to get in and out.

MEAL OPTION

Then there are the meals. Much has been said about airline food, like how the omelet is akin to a floatation device in the event of a crash landing on water. Unless one can go on a fast or BYO, you’ve only got two meal choices on any flight: take it or leave it.

Again, prior planning can curb disappointment on board. If you have a certain diet restriction, or insist on a healthier meal option, make a meal reservation earlier when booking your flight ticket. Once you get on the plane, double check with the flight attendant to see if your meal is on board.

Another plus point is that the passenger with a specific meal order always gets served before the usual meals. He also gets to finish eating first and be the first to use the loo before the lengthy post-meal queue starts.

BEATING JET LAG WITH THE RIGHT FOOD

In beating jet lag, research has shown that eating carbo-rich food like potatoes or pasta for the dinner helps in inducing sleep on a flight, especially when flying westward. This can be followed by a protein-rich meal like eggs or fish to make one more alert after waking up. Avoid caffeine and alcoholic drinks because they cause dehydration.

BATTLING DRYNESS

As the cabin air is dehydrating, flying on long haul means much discomfort to the skin, nasal system and also the eyes. A mini Evian mineral water spritz will do wonders for your skin. Minimise nasal discomfort by using a nasal spray and dry eyes can be managed with the use of saline drop. Lip balm and hand moisturizer should be in your toiletry pouch too.

STRETCHING EXERCISES

All the hours of sitting can make one stiff in all the unwanted places. We have all heard about the risk of developing DVT (deep vein thrombosis) from long haul flying. Exercise is crucial for your well-being. Take short walks around the cabin.

Alternatively, you can also perform some simple in-flight exercises in your seat without invoking panic or stares from seatmates. Neck bends and rolls, shoulders lifts and thigh flexes, foot pumps and ankle circles are some relaxation techniques shown in the pages of the in-flight magazines. Try them in your seat or you may invite your neighbour to work in tandem with you if you think he needs it too!

COMFORT ZONE

To make your thirteen hour flight more bearable, try creating your own comfort zone within that tiny seat. Bring your favourite reading material, electronic devices or watch a movie if you can’t sleep. Pack along a snack bag filled with your favourite light foods if you don’t want to trouble the flight attendant only to find your favourite Oreo is not available on board.

WHAT TO WEAR

While appearance matters, wear comfortable and adjustable foot wear and loose attires. But please don’t allow that collar-fraying, pyjama shirt you wear nightly, make an appearance on board.

SLEEP AIDS

The best gift for a long haul flight taker is the ability to sleep on board. Do everything you can to induce sleep like taking the right food (think bread and warm milk), having the right music piped into your ears, sticking a Do Not Disturb for Meals sticker on your head rest and pull on a silk eye mask. Most of all, never underestimate how important a good neck pillow is for better sleep on the airline seat.

If you have a meeting straight after arrival, then sleep is a premium. Someone suggested investing in the Nada Chair Slouch Buster, a compact and portable foldable back brace that enables one to sleep comfortably in a plane seat.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

With a good night’s sleep, you will definitely wake up recharged. The first thing you should do upon waking on board is to brush your teeth, of course. Yet, they are travellers who frequently forget to pack their toothbrush set for flight. If you are one, never resort to using breakfast juice as your mouthwash. Instead, ask if the flight attendant can spare you a toothbrush set from their amenity bin. Remember, whether on terra firma or in the stratosphere, we need to brush, comb and also spray a little fragrance to appear pleasant for the new day.

TOILET QUEUE

If it’s a full flight, chances are that the toilets are often occupied. It helps to go for the toilet before the ‘rush hour’, which is just after themeals and the hurried period before landing. Better still, freshen up and empty the bladder before the breakfast service commences.

BON VOYAGE

We all love to go on a holiday. It’s the marathon flight that we hate. But if you must fly half the earth to see your best pal get hitched, to attend your daughter’s graduation or just to fulfill one of the top 10 places to visit before signing off, brace yourself with these tricks and tips and believe me, flying long haul needn’t be a grueling experience. Good luck and bon voyage!

LONG HAUL AIRLINES

Cathay Pacific

Discerning First Class passengers will know that Cathay Pacific provides more of a suite than a seat. Featuring a palatable variety of ‘Cathay Pacific Signature Dishes’, the experience takes travellers to new heights. www.cathaypacific.com.my

Etihad Airways

Etihad has established itself as the epitome of Arab hospitality—cultured, considerate, warm and generous. The premium airline has received a range of awards such as ‘World’s Leading Airline’ at the World Travel Awards. www.etihadairways.com

Malaysian Airlines

Long haul flying is made pleasurable with MAS’ outstanding record of service. MAS is also a child-friendly airline, making sure the young passengers are made comfortable throughout the journey. www.malaysiaairlines.com

Oman Air

Spacious seating is Oman Air’s priority. There is ample leg room even in Economy Class while First Class seats are equipped with massage function. Bassinets are placed on side of the seat, enabling mothers to be closer to their infants. www.omanair.com

Korean Air

Passengers on this leading carrier are guaranteed comfort and relaxation throughout their journey with the latest AVOD system technology installed in long haul flight seats. www.koreanair.com